Who is in Your Circle?
By Teresa Palmer
I have a group I go to once a month we call it our “MOhhhmmmmms group” - an homage to the word often chanted before and after a yoga session - meaning the mind, body, spirit connection.
It’s specifically for mums or better known as “moms” in the US. We go there, get deep and try and find our inner Om. Each woman shares their current and past experiences, lessons learned, challenges they’re navigating etc. You don’t have to speak, but you’re encouraged to. We’ll be walked through a meditation, then the theme of the night is discussed and into a free-flowing open conversation we dive, where we feel liberated to show our most authentic and realest selves. Sometimes we cry, often we laugh and always we leave feeling replenished.
I’ve never had a mums group before, I have a lovely bunch of mum friends sure, but never a group that’s formed with the collective intention of getting vulnerable, real and exposing our deepest ponderings with each other, in the hope that this kind of exploration will provide some guidance and clarity on our path. I love it, it’s become my version of therapy. I get something out of it that I don’t get anywhere else.
I have a wonderfully communicative relationship with my husband, he is my go-to when I’m trying to move through something that’s challenging. We are each other’s comrades and hold space for each other to ride life’s ebbs and flows in whatever emotional headspace we are in. Our relationship is constantly evolving and growing deeper, yet I still find myself craving my female companions and counting down the days to our Moms group meet ups. Friends just provide something different than our spouses and that is a beautiful thing to be nurtured and celebrated.
If I have an issue I’m trying to work through, my husband wants to fix it. He’ll come up with clear solutions to move forward. Once we’ve talked it through, he feels satisfied that he has helped me and that I can move on. My female friends are natural nurturers, wanting to acknowledge my feelings and empathising with me when something is hard, they offer up a listening ear without feeling the need to give me all the answers. It’s a different kind of support and to have the balance of both has left me feeling really seen and heard, but I crave both kinds of guidance.
Having meaningful friendships outside of your family dynamic is imperative. The people to bare our souls too, the ones who are supportive and close with you but aren’t so close that they can’t be objective. It really does “take a village” and I don’t just mean in regard to parenting. In life, it takes a village of people in your orbit to help cheer you on, commiserate with you, offer perspective, talk you down off the ledge, motivate you and be a shoulder to cry on.
Having an array of different kinds of friends is wonderful too. Once you’ve weeded out the toxic friendships (that’s a whole different blogpost!) you should take a look at the friends you have and really figure out what kind of role you play for each other to ensure that the friendship feels balanced. Honour it and water it like you would a cherished plant. Invest love, time and energy into it.
I have all sorts of wonderful and wild friendships; friends to just get silly and goof around with, others to have deep soul charging conversations with, mates to have a good old gossip with, ones to watch true crime docs with, others to chat business ideas with, friends that I go to for parenting advice and other mates that our family travels with. I love all of them for their uniqueness and for the sunshine and wonderment they bring into my life. Friends are life’s great treasures. Who is in your circle?
Love, Teresa x
Bio: Teresa Palmer is the mother to Bodhi, Forest and Poet, and stepmother to Isaac. She is passionate about wellness, conscious parenting, spirituality, animal rights, philanthropy and holistic living.
Teresa is an actress, co-founder of parenting blog Your Zen Mama, founder of wellness blog Your Zen Life and co-founder of Lovewell alongside Christiane Duigan. She resides with her family in the hills of Adelaide and Los Angeles.